Civil Service Explained

The title of this entry comes from one of the crappy pamphlets you are given or directed to online when you are fingerprinted, photographed and for all intents, branded upon entry into "they system".

The city is not what I thought it was going to be. My friend told me when I started
"You know how to tie your own shoes, you should be running the place in a few months"
I of course found out the hard way its nothing like that, not only is upward mobility impossible without taking sporadically given tests or being related to people who do the hiring, but incompetence is rewarded. The management has no way of firing you so they become sadistic and petty beaurocrats who take great pleasure in annoying their underlings. It's actually quite a horrible place to be in. Its nice to know that you can't be fired, unfortunately, that's all I hope for these days. I'm like a galley slave hoping another ship rams us.

This is a great job for those who are unemployable, or don't care. It's also not bad if you have some sort of substance abuse problem as all you have to do is register and they can never fire you for being drunk and stoned. If you have no ambition in life, civil service with the Shitty Of N.Y. is for you.

I WOULD NEVER RECOMMEND THIS JOB TO ANYONE I KNOW.

I have actually found myself getting stupider as time goes on! My skills are decreasing and I have only mastered repetitive tasks you can teach a chain smoking monkey to achieve.

I say this because I have no simpler way of describing it, but my friends are not retards, junkies or low-lifes. Sadly, there are plenty of good, hard working, God fearing people whose circumstances brought them to this horrible place. This is for the filthy, low down urban trash you see at the DMV or writing you parking tickets. THEY BELONG HERE. This is not a job for a sane man with even a modicum of self worth.

Working Poor

When I worked as document reviewer/temporary attorney I was always surrounded by hip young attorney's. At one point I pulled out my cassette Walkman and my coworkers nearly fell on the floor laughing. These were guys with the latest MP3 players and Blackberries so my old Panasonic technology made me look like a club wielding caveman. Not so at the new job, with government workers being as poor as they are no one looks at me cross for having museum worthy audio equipment. I look around at the office and people have radio cassette players on their desks. Some listen to disc players with enormous headphones and the one person with an MP3 player is the head attorney and his unit is a cheap ass model made by Coby that you could probably get at a bargain bin at Target or Toys R Us. I feel right at home, no need to keep up with the Joneses. The other day I had a conversation with someone about LP's, but not because I was talking to some pretentious Williamsburg hipster, but simply because we both never had enough faith or money to make the complete format switch.

Working Poor

Thing is, the file room with peoples important documents and social security numbers is open and accesible but it's the bathrooom that has a combination lock! Actually, everything is under lock and key. If I want a pencil I have to requisition it. I thought I understood, one look around me and I see why employee theft is a concern. But the other day a new realization came over me. Another department was renovating their offices in the building. The construction crews were taking out the old furniture and furnishings to the curb. Before the garbage men could haul away the old chairs, broken lamps and stained coffee tables the city employess attacked the trash like a pack of hyenas with a fresh wildebeast kill. Suddenly it became clear to me, why all of the neighboring restaraunts were cheap and crappy, why my co workers knew all the sale days at Costco, why coupons could be found on everyones desk. They are all poor. It's true, say all you want about benefits and job security, and that's all nice but these people get paid shit. What good is all of that if you have to rummage through garbage at the end of the day?