Sunday, February 14, 2010

Civil Service Explained

The title of this entry comes from one of the crappy pamphlets you are given or directed to online when you are fingerprinted, photographed and for all intents, branded upon entry into "they system".

The city is not what I thought it was going to be. My friend told me when I started
"You know how to tie your own shoes, you should be running the place in a few months"
I of course found out the hard way its nothing like that, not only is upward mobility impossible without taking sporadically given tests or being related to people who do the hiring, but incompetence is rewarded. The management has no way of firing you so they become sadistic and petty beaurocrats who take great pleasure in annoying their underlings. It's actually quite a horrible place to be in. Its nice to know that you can't be fired, unfortunately, that's all I hope for these days. I'm like a galley slave hoping another ship rams us.

This is a great job for those who are unemployable, or don't care. It's also not bad if you have some sort of substance abuse problem as all you have to do is register and they can never fire you for being drunk and stoned. If you have no ambition in life, civil service with the Shitty Of N.Y. is for you.


I have actually found myself getting stupider as time goes on! My skills are decreasing and I have only mastered repetitive tasks you can teach a chain smoking monkey to achieve.

I say this because I have no simpler way of describing it, but my friends are not retards, junkies or low-lifes. Sadly, there are plenty of good, hard working, God fearing people whose circumstances brought them to this horrible place. This is for the filthy, low down urban trash you see at the DMV or writing you parking tickets. THEY BELONG HERE. This is not a job for a sane man with even a modicum of self worth.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Non Pussy Of The Year Award

Guys, I don't know if I would jump into a blood red ocean with sharks circling to rescue my own Mother so quickly. This guy did it for a complete stranger, I hereby make notice that from now on it is forbidden to ever call Lifeguard Dan Lund a pussy, even in jest this will not be tolerated and any man who does this must be beaten severely. I'm sorry, in my book this man has earned some real fucking respect. I can tell you without doubt, had I been in that lifeguard tower and heard a scream, ran over to my binoculars to see a man thrashing around several dorsal fins, my reaction would have been:
"Now that sucks, for you".