Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Dear God

It's getting near time to go home and I have a nasty shit brewing. I figure I can last until I get home but every once in a while I let some real nastiness fly. Luckily by now the workspace is empty. I make it to the elevator bank when I feel a particularly odoriferous one coming on. I save it and hope the elevator is clear. It opens, and it is empty. I get in and let loose. I figure when I get out in the lobby no one will notice. Then the problem, the elevator stops on the very next floor. A nicely dressed older black lady is standing outside. I am too nervous to do much but to open my arms in a grand welcoming gesture. As soon as the doors close I notice from the corner of my eye that her face is contorting in gross disfigurement. She tries to mutter under her breath but when she moans "Dear God" it is clearly audible and directed at me. All I could do from laughing was to rush out as soon as the ground floor was hit. I ran home and nearly had a convulsion on the train from laughing so hard. I mean the poor woman was praying to her deity for relief that was not to come. Oh man, I'm still chuckling.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Finally Some Outrage

Can someone please explain to me why New York City must supposedly accept congestion pricing to recieve some absurd number of millions from the Federal Government? Something doesn't sound kosher, since when do the Feds stipulate that poor working shlubs must fork over $8 and $21 at a time to enter their own city?

I know some of my Manhattan readers readily aprove of this new tax on the middle class. Why not? If I chose to live in a smog filled and over crowded enviornment, I too would like the idea of less cars. But that is not the issue. Simply put, this is the City government being Manhattnocentric all over again. Same thing happens when the snow falls and its gets cleared in the city first. Same reason all roads lead to Rome. The money is being minted there and screw all of the little cogs in the wheel that make it all work. Well at least I was happy to see a few brave city council members vote against the proposal. How any single outer-botough politician voted for this is scandalous and needs to be investigated. Let's just hope someone in Albany can turn away from the bribery.

Speaking of cars, a buyer has been found for my blue car. I am torn. I really don't need two cars but this one particular vehicle has come to define me. It's old, has rust spots and belches noxious fumes but it's also tough, reliable and a thing of beauty to the right eye. I don't know, should I sell it? It might be my last chance to do so at a good price? Then again it costs virtually nothing to maintain but how long will everything keep from breaking down? And this is the year it becomes old enough to forgo emission inspections alltogether. What's your advice?