Friday, May 21, 2010

In The Field

After 2 weeks of bureaucratic BS I finally got to go out and do what I am being paid for, conducting the Census. Man, I almost forgot how much I love doing this. I went around house to house ringing bells and just talking to people. I only got one family counted tonight but it was everything I remembered it to be. People are interesting and when they cooperate it's just a pleasure to do this job.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Cenus Training

Sorry guys, have been out of range, started working the Census again. Took some time off from my Shitty job so I can do what I always loved.
Noted so far
1. Fingerprinting of everyone, mandatory
2. Sam old group of 20 somethings and bored housewives. However, in my training session there are two guys who look like bank presidents, times are tough.
3. training went from 2 days to 4. How they can spend that much time on asking one question is beyond me
"How many people live here?"
4. Two asian chicks who never ran a class in their lives are supposedly teaching us, the mothra twins just read from a phone book sized manual, one of the most boring endeavors I have ever sat through. Sad thing is, when they have a questions, the participants ask me. I am like the grizzled old veteran whose been in the enumeration trenches before.
"Baby, let me tell you about the time I had to count an entire group home for the mentally challenged persons, but first why don't you show some love..Did I mention it was the loooong form?"

Day 2
Now I am starting to get why most of these people are unemployed. Yesterday I was still clinging to notions about the economy and such. That's not he case, most of these folks are morons. From the questions the Mothra twins fielded I can see no real job would want them, I honestly don't know if McDonald would hire them. They are not retarded but the "special" program is all they would qualify for.
"Excuse me, but can we go to the bathroom when we are working"
This from a normal, healthy and sane looking woman. What kind of question is that? As the retired city worker sitting next to me commented
"Next they will ask if we should go into a burning building and who should we talk to first"?
Listen, I know the training is BS I just have to sit through this two more days and I am home free, the actual work is rather fun and pretty easy from what I recall.

Then there is the drunk who sits in front of me. Form day one she looked a little odd, she wore dark, dark sunglasses, mind you, we are in the basement of a church, it's cold and dark down here. Other then her obvious pallor (reduced amount of oxyhemoglobin in skin or mucous membrane, a pale color which can be caused by illness, emotional shock or stress, stimulant use, lack of exposure to sunlight, anemia or genetics) of a chronic drinker, she also walks around with a water bottle that she seems to think is hiding her booze. But it's wrapped in this nasty black plastic bag and from the murmurs of those around me, I don't think she is fooling even this bunch. Hey, more power to you, I wish I had the will to drink down there, it might just make the time more passable.

So today's training concluded with a mandatory EEO lesson. The usual "we don't discriminate" BS we have all heard a thousand times, you could almost feel all of the (white) people rolling their eyes. When the speaker gave out the number to a local equal opportunity office everyone began to put their stuff away, everyone but the sole two hispanic girls, they jotted the number down like they meant it, even asking for it to be repeated. The guy in the next chair and I saw that and started chuckling. I got to say the man made me laugh, just before it's time to leave he got up and announced he had "take a squirt, I better do it now, on their time" I started laughing, he added "What do you want from me, I am retired city worker"? I told him I knew exactly what he was talking about and that's why I was laughing so hard, truth be told, one of the greatest thrills I have left in life is taking a nice long crap and knowing I am on the clock.

Day 4
The joke of it all is that I have been telling you what a bunch of morons I have in my class. So today they give a "final exam" to see what we absorbed. I was cocky, I didn't try, I could barely be bothered to open my book for this open book exam. So I should not have been as surprised, I got a 69, passing was 70. Luckily the test didn't count.

At lunchtime I got to experience some more ethnic diversity, I walked down 13th Avenue Boro Park, amazing, this Jewish neighborhood still has the ethnic flavor you only see remnants of in the Lower East side. Hasids of every shape and color are walking around, talking on cell phones, pushing past you on lines or just pushing baby carriages. For dinner I went five blocks away to little Chinatown on 8th Avenue and was transported into a completely different ethnic enclave. Say what you will, New York does have an amazing variety of peoples all scurrying around trying to eke out a living.

Speaking of Hasids, I was parking at the huge retail produce market on 65 street, in front of me a Mexican guy was loading groceries for the a black hat and jacketed hasidic fellow. As he closed his min van door I could clearly see the guy giving the Mexican a tip, it was change, but all in copper. As he drove off the Mexican saw that I had seen the exchange and started laughing, I got out of my car and asked, "What? Did he give you all pennies?" The man laughed and said "Si, all pennies". Ah, you got to love New York

The city job I have been doing for the last two years has really made a worse person. I have become dumber as evidenced by my poor test performance, I am lazier then ever and now I seem to have adopted only the bad work related traits. For instance, in the morning I was the guy who brought in his breakfast, after, why should I eat on my time? Let the motherfuckers pay for that as well. In other words, I just have a real bad attitude now. Civil service baby!

What If The Shoe Were On The Other Foot?

This Louisiana oil spill is upsetting me, aside from the damage to the wildlife, I am wondering why no one is bringing up the fact that our government opened up the rest of America's coastline to drilling only a few weeks ago. I imagine had the president been a former oil man or outspoken governor from Alaska, the connection would have been made by now?